So I'm considering LapBand surgery.
At the moment I'm reading up on people's experiences. One of my favorite blogs is Once Upon a Time in the Land of Cheese and Sunkist Amy writes in a humorous, down to earth manner and often makes me smile.
She jokes about having a reverse body dysmorphic disorder. Until she wrote about that, I thought I was alone in the weirdness of it. Basically, I'm fatter than I really think I am. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm fluffy. I've no illusions of being a stick thin model. But I do have a tendency to sideswipe things- posts, doorways, garage door locks, because my mental image of myself and the reality don't match.
I'm a sexy babe, fluffy or not. I don't bemoan a lack of life due to weight. I have a boyfriend, I own a condo, love my dog, have a side business in henna, as well as love to dance. In fact, one of my African American students once told her mom (during a conversation what being black means) that I was black, because I could dance good :D Interesting what kids think, no?
I've had belly dancing lessons, boudoir photo shoots, and I don't get freaked out at the thought of myself in a swimsuit.
So why LapBand? I'm 5'4" and at the beginning of 2010 weighed 261 lbs. I'm down a bit thanks to Nutrisystem food, the diabetic plan that is full of protein. I am considering that the band might be a tool that can help me where sheer willpower cannot. In 2003 I was on weight watchers, and the lowest I got down to was around 217. I haven't been under 200 since the early '90s.
I don't like the way clothes look on me currently. I don't like the effort it takes to physically get out of bed in the morning, or off the couch at night. I have sleep apnea, and use a CPAP machine while I sleep.
I turned 40 last year. For me this is the new beginning of the rest of my life. When I turn 50 I don't want to be the same or worse weight. I don't want to be someone that needs a motorized cart to get around because weight is too much of a strain.
I'm going to see if my insurance will cover LapBand. If I go ahead with the surgery, it would probably be this summer.
I'm not considering this lightly. The idea of PB (productive burps, or partial barfs), fills, and all manner of intestinal issues is not appealing to me. This is not "an easy way out". But honestly, there is no easy way out of obesity.
Social Entropy
3 weeks ago
4 comments:
Thank you :) I dont know if that description of me might be too good, but I do like it :) We are def not alone with our RBDD, but we are not in the majority...that is for sure. Have you ever read anything about the fat acceptance movement? Those who believe that we should love our fat, stay fat, and not worry about being thin? I think they have it half right...we should love ourselves whatever size, but I am sorry...weighing 327 pounds (what I started at) was not healthy. Everything started to hurt. And while I didnt have any serious health issues yet, I was morbidly obese...and that means that my fat was going to kill me. The lapband is not something you get and then have the luxury of setting back and watching the weight fall off. THis is important for those who say "you took the easy way". YOu must be present in this journey and you have to work the band! THe thing about PBing is that some people hardly ever do it. Me...it just depends...but it is not really a big deal anymore.
I am eager to hear what your insurace company has to say!
Hugs-Amy
first- YAY! thanks for the comment :P
I did call the insurance company today, but of course they're closed since it's MLK day. You're right, we should love ourselves whatever the size. No matter if we're fluffy, or skinny, life would sour if all you think about is what you *don't* like about yourself. We're all blessed with gifts.
Hi, Noel, you are not alone with the weight gain. I'm at 230 and it is a combination from chronic pain (can't exercise), pain meds that cause weight gains and sleep problems (nice side effects, huh) and overeating. I may have sleep apnea. I'll be going to a sleep lab tonight to find that out. Take care, love your cuz, Kelsey
Heya Kels!
Let me know how your sleep study went. Do you know they offered me breakfast in bed the next morning??
I'm wondering if my pressure is a little too high. I'm starting to wake up to enormous burps, like I'm swallowing air at night.
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